Douching is the messy reality of taking dick up your butt; whether you’re a new bottom or a seasoned vet, if you don’t want your top leaving disappointed and extremely grossed out you have to douche… or so we all thought.

Dr. Evan Goldstein, who founded the gay men’s sexual wellness practice Bespoke Surgical says, “Imagine if you line up ten guys and you’re going to top them all, Even if they haven’t prepared, nine out of ten would be completely stool-free.”

According to Dr. Goldstein, stool resides in the sigmoid colon, the part of the large intestine closest to the rectum and anus. There, you’ll find a muscle that keeps shit from going into the rectum and through the anus until you’re actually ready to shit. That means, there shouldn’t be any stool where the top’s dick is going, unless your top is hung like an overgrown horse on steroids.

While it is possible for someone’s dick to enter the sigmoid colon, its extremely unlikely and should be taken into account before you decide to go for clear… clear water that is. Reason being, the purpose of enemas and irrigation devices is to relieve constipation; when we douche, the water propelled into the colon goes past the area that actually needs to be clean for sex, and up into the sigmoid colon. An enema cleans out way more than you need to for sex, irritating your anus and possibly causing dryness. Bear in mind, not many bottoms flush once and call it a day, we do it repeatedly until the water comes out clear…

Dr. Goldstein goes on to add that over-the-counter enemas are not great either. “They cause a lot of trauma. The chemical in there creates irritation. It brings water into the movement so you can poop away, but it causes the cells of the rectum to get irritated. It creates tons of mucus and tons of dryness in the area.” That dryness can lead to cracks and bleeding, which can also make it easier to pass some STDs.”

Well, now that our only saving grace has been debunked and we are forced to potentially have shitty sex, what now? Of course, a little bit of water doesnt hurt especially if it is not being lodged into the sigmoid colon but another thing we can do is trying modifying our diets, adding fiber for bulkier stools or even trying fiber supplements like Metamucil. There’s even a supplement that explicitly targets the gay market: Pure for Men, which is made with the same psyllium husk, flaxseed and chia found in other over-the-counter fiber products.

Overall, if you’re going to clean out your buttox regardless of the health risks that can come later in life, use water (not over-the-counter Enamas) and use an enema with a small bulb as this will encourage you to not force too much water inside at once. But please, go slow as the squeezing the life out of the bulb with the intent to force the water inside will still cause the water to go too far up your ass.

On that note, bottoms get your life!